The Sadness of Being the Church

I recently participated in a process that led to a church leaving our denomination. It makes me deeply sad. And that sadness springs from more than one well.

First the obvious. Every divorce causes pain. Every dissolved relationship makes me ask, “Why didn't I see (x) long ago?” The sadness goes deeper when I both like and love each party. Like and love are not the same things. When I feel both for people who go away it makes it much harder. In this case I came to truly enjoy my brothers and sisters in that church. We spent a lot of tough hours together. We saw God work right before our very eyes together.

Next the less obvious. I pastor in a church that has dwindled to half its size of fifty years ago. We have seen non-denominational big boxes take many who used to worship with us. We have also made decades' worth of decisions that have driven people away. Our national and regional governing bodies have made many changes. Some rejoice in them. Others are aghast. An appreciable number of these have left. It makes good old loyal me feel left behind.

Finally, the biggest reason for my sadness. During this process I witnessed pastors and elders behave in ways that left me open-mouthed. They grandstanded at meetings. They literally yelled at one another. Nobody used the M Word out loud but several made it clear they felt we should be making our departing brothers and sisters pay big Money for the privilege of leaving.

If those departing Christians had any doubt they were making the right choice those meetings erased them faster than a drill instructor wiping the grin off a recruit's face.

Most all the people at those meetings behaved with remarkable maturity and restraint. We even sang hymns together with those we were bidding goodbye. It was just those few who soiled the experience. But boy did they soil it.

Being the church can be extremely difficult. So difficult that in order to heal from this experience I intend to stay away from those denominational meetings for a while.

Please pray for all who try to minister in the name of Jesus. It's a tough job. Somebody's got to do it. In order for me to keep at it I have to walk away from some folks I used to enjoy. And that makes me sadder still.